While almost all marriages are bound to go through some rough spots at one point or another, there are some who may feel that their marital problems are a little more than they can handle. In situations like this, you may feel that a separation or divorce is the best option for you. However, if you want your marriage to ultimately work out, it’s important that you use the time you’re separated from your spouse to work on yourself and your marriage. To help with this, here are three tips for dealing with a separation in your marriage.
Give Yourself Time To Grieve
Even if you feel that your separation is just a phase you’re having to go through, it’s still important that you allow yourself time to grieve as your relationship with your spouse changes. According to HelpGuide.org, it’s completely normal to grieve the loss of your companion, your support system, and your supposed future. While these things can come back if your separation ends with your renewed commitment to your marriage, their initial loss can hit you hard. But especially if you understand how important your marriage is to you and want that life with your spouse, you can use the time you spend separated to help you learn and grow as a person.
Try Your Hardest To Be Civil
If you’re just using a separation as a stepping stone before you make your divorce final, you may be less concerned with the grieving process and more concerned with managing your harsh feelings or resentment toward your spouse. Especially if you have children involved in your marriage, Marriage.com recommends that you try your hardest to be civil with your spouse. By choosing to be nice and respectful regardless of what happened in the past with your marriage, you can make the whole divorce process much easier to manage for both sides of the marriage.
Be Wary Of Long-Term Separations
For those who want a break from their marriage but aren’t sure how their separation will end, be it returning to your marriage or resulting in a divorce, Jeff Landers, a contributor to Forbes.com, recommends that you be careful when it comes to long-term separations. The longer you wait to make a decision regarding your marriage, the more things can change and become more complicated. So if you’re just waiting because you’re afraid of committing either way, consider how settling on a final decision could be better for both you and your spouse.
If you and your spouse are considering going through a separation in your marriage, please consider the tips mentioned above to help you make the most of this time and find a solution with will be best for all parties involved.